Why Do Men Get Bar Mitzvah Again at 83

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This is the fourth in a series of manufactures examining Bar and Bat Mitzvahs in America.

Jeremy Piven had one. So did the former owner of my pharmacy. And Kirk Douglas had two. Stumped? These men all stepped up to the bimah to have a second bar mitzvah. Not to be confused with the now familiar developed bar mitzvah, a second bar mitzvah is akin to a couple renewing their vows. The ceremony takes place most ordinarily at age 83, as the Bible dictates that a human beingness's lifespan is lxx years (70 plus thirteen is, well, you lot go the picture). This ritual is condign more common in its ain right equally men live longer, healthier lives. The reason that well-nigh of the second bar mitzvah celebrants are men is very elementary: Women of previous generations weren't allowed to have a get-go. For these second-timers, studying, chanting and interpreting are, once more, part of the process. And while in that location may be no DJ or gift checks written in denominations of chai, participants tend to agree that information technology tin can be more gratifying the 2d time around.

Given the country of the world 70 years ago, the tone of many "first" bar mitzvahs was the antonym of what we see today. Many Jews were still poor immigrants, attempting to conform to life in a new country while that land was engaged in war.

"I was the babe of the family unit," said Sam Convissor, 87, of South Orange, New Jersey. "My older blood brother was in the Merchant Marines, and my 2 brothers-in-law were stationed away from domicile. Information technology was a very small-scale occasion at our Orthodox shul in Newark [in Northern New Jersey], and I call up I paid tribute to the boys overseas. By afternoon I was domicile playing football game in the street, just like every Sat."

For his second bar mitzvah, at age 83, Convissor welcomed family unit and friends to celebrate with him at the Bourgeois synagogue where he raised his family. Instead of candy, the congregation showered him with individually- wrapped prunes.

For others, the rebirth takes on a more serious tone. Mark Koller, 87, of Mount Kisco, New York, spent April 23, 1943, the solar day of his bar mitzvah, interred in a labor camp. Built-in to a prominent family in Vizag, Romania, Koller was sent, forth with his parents and brother, to a military camp in Ukraine in 1941. Later years of suffering without heat, food, water, and, but as important, nobility, the survivors were liberated by the Soviet army in 1944. Koller fabricated aliyah to Israel in December 1949 where he was drafted by the IDF and began pursuing his goal of becoming an engineer, which he realized upon arriving in the U.s.a.. He married and, upon the nascency of his daughter, reentered synagogue life and became a highly-esteemed teacher of Hebrew, Yiddish and other courses. When Koller decided to have a second bar mitzvah, the rabbi gave him his Torah portion. The reading, during Chol Hamoed Pesach, was Ezekiel's vision of a valley of lifeless human being basic. Through Ezekiel's deportment, as dictated by God, the skeletons are revived and come alive over again. God so explains that they are to gather together, with new hope, in the Country of State of israel. Equally Koller said, "It felt bashert [similar destiny]."

He added, "Information technology was a dream come up true. Information technology fabricated me feel like I was meant to stay here and accept this experience. Information technology was a symbol that I fabricated it. It's called a second bar mitzvah, but for me it was the first."

With very few senior citizens looking for more "stuff," the second bar mitzvah tin likewise be an opportunity to give back. Full-time Martha's Vineyard resident Herb Foster, 90, decided to make his bar mitzvah a fundraiser for his synagogue's endowment fund. Originally bar mitzvahed in an Orthodox synagogue in Brooklyn'southward Boro Park, Foster (born Finkelstein) spent a lifetime equally an active contributor to those in demand. He earned his doctorate in special instruction and went on to teach at-risk children in the New York City public schools, so in the education department at SUNY Buffalo. As a retiree he has devoted himself to the causes of social justice, language and the arts, as well equally to his synagogue, the Martha's Vineyard Hebrew Center.

The age of 83 is, of grade, just an overall guideline, and anyone who is willing or interested tin can step upward and feel the bar or bat mitzvah for a 2nd fourth dimension. Or even a third. Convissor says his rabbi has asked him on several occasions if he would stand and recite his haftara over again on the advisable day, to which he replied, "Of course."

Amy Oringel is a freelance author based in Bedford, New York.

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Source: https://forward.com/culture/384977/why-83-is-the-new-13-for-bar-mitzvahs/